long long time...

it feels nice to jus come in here once in a while jus to express myself. for the past few days my mind has beed thinking of the questions and answers that is really stupid n crazy. the fact is really unsure even for the smartest to know. even for math to calculate. there is a saying. that the PAST is HISTORY, TOMORROW is the FUTURE, but NOW..i mean NOW is PRESENT. these words really made me think deep in my roots. how i was brought up. my past my future n my present. i am happy to know that i have a really loving girlfriend. a good family. everything seem so nice. but life is always full of lies. i really don know where i will be heading to down the road. i hope all the best. i hope everything is ment to be in place. i would not want judgement by people. i would wan judgement by GOD. how is there people living by judging other. who are they. y dont they live thier life jus how they were ment to be. y cant i live the life that i wanted. must everything be under judgement. must everything about money n power. must we live our life in total control by these unvaluable creations.. there is nothing greater then love in this world. but wat is love without money. there links. life is linked no mater wat. how can i solve the problem. there will always be a way to solve. i am thinking of one. i wanted a guide. a light. someone to show me how to do. how to choose. this is a vr vr important task. for the one who will take it. i really wanted it to be her. its really such a hard task. i jus wanted something more...

bad day + bad timing = bad mood

sometimes a simple request can be catastrofic. i dont know wat other think of this question but for me its quite lame.... a question can make alot of changes in thier life n the way they think. first of all patiens is all it needs rite. but when a persons EQ is super low the really are super low. try think of it in another way. nothing is the way it was supposed to be. i do no say that my EQ is higher than anyone elses but the fact is that my EQ is for sure higher than those older then me. the way they think really makes me puke to the max. really make me think of the situation that i am standing. my status my value. if none of that matters here then y am i still here. its better if i jus leave n let everyone have a plesent day for the rest of thier stupid life... but anyways.. this really is not the worst.. the most unplesent part is really dark... its even darker then the night. that really i would not wan to share.

sometimes. sometimes

its hard for me sometimes. i really wanted to be a good --. coincidence really can make a difference. there is alot of these electronic items that really help out human. when they act agains human it really sucks

what a day.....

its a happy start for today.. i had plans for everything. i thought that everything is in my control. i started the day of with a big breakfast at my own shop.. happy village. then after the breakfast i went to pick up my mom. she went shopping for weekly goods for happy village. she bought a lot of fries. shit..... a whole car full. after the pick up over in tesco i went back n purpose the raya set n buka puasa set as a promotion over in happy village. that went well.. mom accepted all the purposal. its like bingo for me.. hahaha super happy indeed. i had been thinking of capucino ever since. she went back from church a tired day for her. then for the past whole month capucino has been tired n under alot of stress. study for her exam. all her assignments. all her homeworks. everything had to be done over in her uni`s library. all she need now is a broadband which i had purchase for her today.. yes.. that went well also. the modem is operational on monday itself.. ohhh so nice. then i went to pick up my god mom.. all the way over in klia. such a long drive. ita a happy drive too. anna jie jie accompany me with her son jaz..... so happy.. we talked all the way there. then i was bz calling my god mom over at the phone. i was worried that she went bck to ipoh by bus. as i reached there i was sure that her flight was delayed. indeed it was. i asked at the reception area for the flight at london towards klia.. then the reception lady said it was delayed. then i went back out to the parking n waited. i was afraid that my car will be issued a parking ticket due to violation... omg... i was issued twice over there.. haizzzz such disapointment.. but its okie.lucky this time it was all safe n sound. then after i picked up my noisy god mom we chat chat all the way from klia until klang.. huhuhu. i felt sorry for anna jie n jaz. but they were having a good time. jaz was bz occupying himself with his psp n anna jie snozzzzz all the way back... hahaha... it was a good rest time for her. cos she looked tired.. after i drop off anna jie n jaz i sent my god mom to the bank to cash out some money. then we went for a nice meal of bah kut teh. she said she was craving for malaysian food for one month.. then she went all in over at the bah kut teh shop.. omg.... i was shocked to see her eat her heart out. but we enjoy the bah kut teh time. there is jus one thing missing in that picture. that will be my capucino. if she was there it would all be perfect... the end is all the bad things. i would not like to talk about it.... its jus super bad

its been so long.....

its been long since i had sign in and blogged... anyways... the purpose for my blogging life is for my dear capucino. its been almost 3 month that i had written anything. out of a sudden i had a mood to write. its been 9 month and 7 days that i had been with my capucino. all this time its nothing but joy n laughter. yes we had been tru ups n down. its the bit n parcels of life. that the only way bond can grow stronger. the way we can be together. for this past few month i had been thinking. i really wanted to be with my dear n i would not want to be without her for even one second. but as a man there is always choises to be made. to be with capucino is all i wanted.. i will be with her for now n forever.

love in need is love indeed

love is always in need by everyone.. but my love is specific.. jus for some one so special.. the person who will light up the darkest days.. who will chill up the hottes days... the person indeed is the one who is truly loved by thy.. she is not only someone special.. yet one in a million.. like every zebra has a different stripe.. yes a plain lady in the eyes of the norm.. but in my eyes she is the only one that i will pledge to live for now n my whole life.. as i had left TM for 2 days now.. my heart is still missing all that is left over there.. the women that i loved very much.. i wish to be by her side each n every minuet.. our world is filled with sweet words which can make the honey seem tasteless. never the less its spoken from inside my heart.. to see her smile everyday is the motive of my life .. yes love.. love.

i want to dedicate this poem to my sweet heart.. that i mish deeply she will like..

A special world for you and me

A special bond one cannot see

It wraps us up in its cocoon

And holds us fiercely in its womb.

Its fingers spread like fine spun gold

Gently nestling us to the fold

Like silken thread it holds us fast

Bonds like this are meant to last.

And though at times a thread may break

A new one forms in its wake

To bind us closer and keep us strong

In a special world, where we belong.

this is onli the right begining

its been a very long time since barista had bloged... its because the love for capucino has evolved into a true tie... its more than a few words published on the internet will make any difference.. its a bond of true love. an ever living breathing bond of love..there is more comitment that barista had to put up.. money.. future.. family.. work.. more is coming to barista path to success.. the onli person who will be by barista is capucino.. the onli true frend.. a frend that is bonded by love. a love that will never end by jus an easy good bye.. the love that barista had now is forever more.. he might had forgotten the promises.. but his heart will forever be with capucino.. this will never fade.. as a rock will turn to sand by the elements of nature..baristas love will never change.. it will grow day by day.. changing n getting stronger as every second pass.. there has been alot of happy n unhappy things that is not stated by barista.. its kept as a memory sealed within barista n capucino.. i love u my capucino.. this moment barista eyes is filling with tears.. but this is not an occasion to cry.. i love u capucino...

the good time`s are gone..

its such a bad day for me.. there are times when i really wanted capucino to be with me on those bad times.. its very selfish for me to be sad alone.. not to tell capucino. mom said something which i think hurts me much... i dont like to hear all those stupid pharses from her.. its mean to say it.. yes i am wat i am. if they dont seem to like my way of doing things they i would just like them to leave.. i may seem happy all the time. but in fact i am not.. is there a place of happyness in my life.. will there be such a place called nirvana.. a heaven on earth.. i will like to seek for it. i wan to be there with my loved one.. my capucino.. i wanted to cry now. but the onli thing that can make me shed my tears is capucino.. its hard to keep these sad tears.. these moments are hard even for the strongest warior.. the battel in life has jus begin for barista. i wish to end it with peace.. with no blood shed..

the unforgetable trip...

its monday... barista reached TM... its almost 9pm.. time its never a matter when it comes to my capucino.. when barista reached TM capucino fetched barista at the bus station.. barista was worried of capucinos well being.. for her to come so far from her house... but thank God she was safe.. all the angels of God protected my capucino at all times.. not wanting any misfortune to happen to her.. as barista was waiting for capucino at the bus stop with his luggages a bag of bak kua n a brand new cabinet just for my lovely capucino.barista was getting excited.. on wat to say to capucino.. thinking of the way capucino will smile when they met.. her lovely voice.. then not soon after capucino arrived at the bus station.. it took capucino about 10min to get to the bus station.. clad only with a pair of short pants.. on such a cold night.. barista's heart almost fell apart.. thinking of all the cold winds blowing on capucino's small pint sized body.. capucino wanted to look her best infront of barista.. yet she forgoten about her own.. its such a big sacrifice for my capucino.. the more time barista spent with capucino the more in love barista felt for her.. the feeling of care.. love.. warmth.. its ever more.. the feeling of love that can't fade away... after capucino pick barista from the bus station.. we set our journey back to capucino's house.. the cold long ride.. jus made barista felt how much capucino sacrificed for barista coming all the way to the bus station.. soon after we went for supper over in a coffee shop just around the corner.. over there barista ate cantonese fried keow teow.. and a serving of black pepper fried pork meat.. the food is not bad.. for a chef its about 40 mark given.. jus an average yes.. but with the company of capucino its all worth while.. barista fed her all the prawns.. and squid.. that capucino loved the most.. the rest barista cleared off.. after the meal when barista ask for the bill the worker complimented on "us" "he can easily pick you up with one hand".... then we laughed.. barista then went to a nearby 7eleven to get some toiletries.. n capucino bought her favourite appel flavoured chewing gum.. such sweet times.. then we scooted off back home on capucinos cute scooter... kikiki..its jus sweet... at home barista did what men should do n assemble the new cabinet for capucino.. then put all capucinos clothes in for capucino.. swept the floor.. n made his bed not far from capucino.. when barista planed to go to bed capucinos housemate got back from class.. amek... kiki then they invited us to tag along for mamak sesion in a nearby mamak shop. barista order a cup of limau ice as usual.. n capucino a cup of hot milk with a tarik feeling... kikiki.. there at that time there was amek, jennie,lou dao, ah siew, n the dai lou ah yen.. kikiki.. during the yam cha sesion baristas never took an eye off the tv.. kikiki.. tv addict.. sorry dear capucino.. lou kong still love to see capucino more than the tv.. but.. never the less.. there is not the time... cos too much attraction.. n we cant get to much attention.. kikiki... later we walked home holding hands.. kiki.. sweet... barista immediately take his bath n prepare for bed.. but capucino is still looking at the lap top.. its still early for capucino but barista is already juiced out.. time for shut down.. but barista dont want to disappoint capucino n forced to stay up.. yet barista auto shut down on capucinos bed.. then capucino woke barista up.. kikiki.. then barista slept on the floor.. with capucino aside.. hugging her tight.. like barista was afraid to lose her.. is all the sweet moments..the nite we slept side by side holding each other tightly.. then day 2 started.. its a hectic day for my capucino.. full schedule of classes to attend to.. but barista was never alone.. barista can feel that capucino is right beside him.. barista played with his psp.. played with babycino n babyrista... then sleep.. kikiki.. the best rest ever barista had..then capucino came back during lunch.. that time we went to a cafe named EGO just infront of capucino`s university..there we ordered tomato chicken.. capucino ate nasi lemak rendang.. a serving of fried dumpling n capucino`s favourite fried squid.. as for the drinks capucino orders longan lychee then capucino had honey milk.. ohh the food is just average.. but the moment and the deciration is not bad.. the onli problem is after the meal we smell like kitchen... kakaka..... barista then saw the most amazing things ever.. a spider building its nest.. such a wonderfull site.. watched live.. infront of baristas eyes.. the events of nature.. soon after capucino got back from class.. her voice shook the whole house.. TADAIMASU.. as she entered the house.. barista lauged.. capucino is so cute n pretty... just cant imagine to live with out her for one second of barista's life... later after capucino took her bath she already planned the night activities.. it started by having dinner over in a cafe named BLUE GARDEN.. capucino outfit was beautiful too.. she wore a green shirt and her favourite short pants...the journey there was nice n warm.. with the warm sweet hug by capucino.. as the scooter scooted up the hill.. it took us 15 mins to reach the destinated location.. then as we took our seat at the cafe barista took the initiative by ordering for my lovely capucino.. it's for sure she will love to drink capucino blended.. then barista ordered a different flavoured capucino float just for some one as lovely as her... for the main course we ordered mee hailam.. fish n chips.. and pepper chicken... as for the apetizer barista order capucinos favourite fried squid... kikiki.. then we 'kick table leg' again.... kiki.. so sweet.. we ate together.. the ambience the atmosphere the music.. the company of a lovely lady.. the memories... it's just beautiful.. it's plain but it's so perfect when capucino is around..it's just as God has planned it for us in the future.. God has made it all perfect.. the weather was just nice.. windy n cool... it's just the best feeling that we ever had... that was not all.. after an amazing dinner we went sok ge... kikiki.. barista drove capucino back home to have her change... due to the cold weather, capucino changed into her long jeans.. we scooted around TM town n capucino's university.. with capucino telling barista where she attends her classes ..capucino took barista to her church.. then told barista where she had her bike accident.. barista heart start to ache again.. but if barista is weak who will make capucino strong.... its all implanted into barista memories.. kikiki... then we looked for the basketball court in TM.. wow the court is nice.. looking foward to play in that court in the future... then we drove all the way to proton city.. jus to sok ge in the park... the park there is beautiful jus a perfect place to go for a date.. just the 2 of us.. there I let capucino have an unforgetable memory.. as barista drove the scooter into the garden n sok ge inside the garden.. it was capucino's first time.. sok ge inside a beautiful park... the night ended when barista n capucino were all tired out from all the sok ge.. then we drove back home.. barista took his bath.. then slept with capucino within her arms.. its sweet n warm.. the kisses.. warm hugs.. the sweet smell of capucinos body.. her soft skin.. barista would wish to hug capucino each night... barista felt restless as barista will part from capucino again... barista's heart was heavy just to leave capucino....as daylight slowly takes over the solemn moon barista's time is up.. as barista's heart sighed with sadness.. work is ahead... as we woke up early in the morning... the preparation for the journey back... yet we still find time to paktoh.. we took breakfast in a lovely noodle shop... capucino ate dry pan mee and barista took yee mee soup.. as barista bus is going to depart at 11a.m. capucino need to rush back to class... so we parted again......

times square.. with capucino..

its a splendid day.. barista spent half his day with capucino... barista reached the designated location at 1100 hours... kiki then barista took 1 hour to look for capucino... kikiki.....at last they meet up infront of a toy shop at times square... then barista jus looked into capucinos eyes... jus feel like hugging capucino.. after the meet up barista acompanied capucino on her shopping spreee... kikiki.. with capucinos frens.. kiki.. so sweet.. they went in n out from a few shops.. kiki.. capucino is all fired up with the shopping.. the sad things is she cant get her bling bling sandals.. shit.. no size.. then a short pink pants.. that one is baristas fault.. cos barista doesnt want to let capucino waste money.. she got too much short pants.. kikiki.. then capucino saw a nice pair of jeans which she like.. but there is too much customer in that boutique... so she cant try that jeans.. so she let go.. then we walk n walk n walk until lunch time.. around 3pm.. we took our lunch jus the 2 of us.. so sweet... "kick table leg".. huhuhu.... barista order an unagi cheese bake rice n a cup of longan soya ice.. capucino ate sweet sour chicken chop rice topped with her favourite fried egg... kikiki and a cup of longan soya hot... so nice.. by looking at her eat barista felt like the happiest man in the world.. she was happy...during the meal it was such a coincidence that we meet up with alvin, clement and capucino ex class mate.. hehehe... so nice... the world is such a small place to live in.. so barista wont dare to do any naughty things while capucino is not around.. later that some of capucinos frens see barista.. kakaka... the time come when capucino really need to go.. its 3.50pm.. capucinos bus is at 4.oo so they rushed to the bus.. kikiki.. but barista did hug capucino before she left.. n a good bye kiss on the forehead... its a happy day for barista.. na matter how much his legs hurt... i love you capucino...

keep it up my capucino.. barista will always be there

there will allways be up and downs in life.. no matter wat happen.. as your (lou kong) i will allways be there for your.. barista will never leave capucino.. most important thing now is the future.. the future where barista n capucino will live forever.. the sad things in life will allways be haunting us.. jus there is one thing that we must bear in mind.. the future is ever greater than the past.. each generation exceeds the next for a better life. y do ppl get old n die?? think of that.. before we get old there is time we need to past by... each day.. will you choose to past it a happy way or a sad way reminiscing the past which you wish u never had.. as your beloved (lou kong) i wish to see capucino to lead a happy life.. distance is keeping us apart.. but there is never a distance that keep our hearts apart. not now not ever.. it is jus phone call away for barista to say how much barista loved you... that is important.. no matter what barista do he will never repeat what capucinos EX did.. wont ever.. barista is not such a person.. yes he is full of great words.. his mouth is allways covered in honey.. but those words are use onli for capucino.. there will allways be flowers apearing infront of barista.. but there will never be one (pak hap) as special as the one barista had already have.. barista is content.. barista never ask for much... the pain barista had gone tru will never be shown infront of capucino.. yes barista will share the past experience with capucino but showing it is jus not what a guy should do.. barista is a compationate guy.. full with emotions. barista wont keep his emotions when it come to love.. pouring out his love for someone special like capucino.. its like a dream.. when capucino is sad barista will bring joy back into capucinos life.. when capucino is sick barista will give some of his "antibody" when it rains barista will be the sunshine.. when capucino alone in the dark barista will be the light that shine tru the darkness. yes this is all Gods work.. but God gave barista an important mission.. that is to protect the loved ones around barista.. the most important love of barista is capucino..


the pain is so great until and extend joy does not exist anymore.. its from a famous photographer.. before he died he left this pharase.. i wanted to let dear know that there is much more that pain that there is in this world.. dear remember that there will allways be "me" in your life.. i love you mu dear ... capucino

it all begins on the 30th of december. around 4.35 pm.. capucino reached the lcct airport with 2 bag of laugage.. waiting for barista to pick her up.. barista reached around that time with baristas best friend JC. then on the way home we stop by over in ampang.. n ate kom piah... wow super delicious.. sarawak special.. when we reached klang we ate some home cooked food.. by barista.. special dinner.. got stir fried egg with ham.. some vege.. its so sweet.. after the dinner we spent our time in the room.. chatting.. looking at each other... kikiki.... i cant discribe the feeling when my capucino is inside my arms hugging her... 31st new years eve... capucino.. came down to help barista.. ohh the momnet is sweet.. she was sitting all the time but her presence is enough to give barista power.. we ate wan than mee.. for breakfast.. kikiki.. then at lunch we ate together from the same spoon... jus a simple dish is made delicious... by sharring it with some one you really loved.. the moment just cant seem to past by.. reminiscing the moment now.. such unforgetable memories. at night we went to shah alam.. drinking a few cans of beer and waiting to see some new year fireworks.. but much to our anticipation there was not any fire works.. but the moment still was unforgetable.. we made the countdown ourselfs.. yy, ah chan also alex was there... we couted 10..9..8..7..6..5..4..3..2..1.. happy new year... oh my God.. i think God really put capucino with me for a reason.. for barista to love and care for her.. to past by every second together.. to make her life happy.. there is all the reason in the world for barista to love capucino.. after the countdown we drive back to klang.. n took supper in boston... ohh so nice... we ate with yy, ah chan and alex.. the steam ginger clam.. the fried nestum mantis prawn.. the hokkien mee.. ohh.. so nice.. after that on the 1st of january.. we were together.. she accompany barista at work again.. we ate curry prawn... a special dish i made for my dear capucino.. its just one special time we had.. she ate one spoon and i eat one spoon.. that is not an embarassing sight for me.. its jus sweet and nice. made others around feel the love we really had n appreciate the company of capucino beside barista.. the norm will laugh at us but will they really have such experience with his or her partner.. most of them will have other ways of showing thier love. but for barista that is the onli thing that barista can show to capucino how much i loved her... we past by the time together each n every second.. then on the 2nd day of the new year capucino is not feeling well.. yet she woke the lazy barista up.. barista was touched when she said something to barista. capucino said ( wo hen xi pai, wo ciau bu sing ni) then barista almost cried out.. barista kept the tears away.. not wanting to let my capucino sad.. then woke up n work... she accompanied barista even that she was unwell.. barista had never been such loved ever.. she was like an angel.. really sent by got to protect n cared for barista.. i really love capucino.. i cant live without her... i cant imagine the times i will past without her. the 3rd her illness has become much more serious.. but by my love... she will get well.. baristas caring ways .. its just sweet.. so nice.. the best gentleman.. barista will never be a bad guy infront of my capucino.. barista promise to improve to be a better man.. just to be the best so that capucino will have (xing fu) later at night we went for a movie.. with baristas sister.. janet and my (da sao bro xiao di).. we watch ip man.. capucino has already watch ip man in sarawak.. but she went for the movie again with barista.. we went pato.. shopping for awhile.. i bought 2 formal shirt for my capucino.. she will need that pretty shirt for her studies. i wont want my lou por to look always the best.. pretty...capucino is so nice... but after the movie my capucino is still not feeling well.. the cinema is cold.. we stick together.. after the nite capucino is to tired to move.. barista feed capucino water using baristas mouth... it sounds disgusting.. but she was tired... barista wantod to show his love.. much too much love... on the 4th capucino is getting better... so happy to see my capucino getting well so fast.. mayb its from all baristas strong antibody... feeding my capucino water... kikiki.. sweet... then the countdown begin.. capucino is going back to TM soon..jus cant think of the time barista will have without capucino... but she need to study.. all for her own good.. barista tried to give the best for capucino.. then at the 5th capucino is going bck to TM.. we start driving at 5pm.. we stop by at mcdonals.. to have fat choi burger..... kikiki.. the sweet capucino with the nice burger.. its just perfect.. then we drive n reach TM safely.. its raining.. God is is tring to let her know that baristas heart is crying as well... but its jus for some time.. barista help clean capucinos room.. because capucino is still unwell.. its my responsibility to make sure capucino wil have the best .. to do the best... just for her... as i was leaving capucino cried... i tried to hold my tears.. to let go.. if not barista wont leave..

this story will be inside baristas life forever.. the enternity..now i wanted to give this song to capucino.. onli this song can discribe my capucino.. its by shane ward.. breathless...


If our love was a fairy taleI would charge in and rescue you
On a yacht baby we would sailTo an island where we’d say I do
And if we had babies they would look like youIt’d be so beautiful if that came trueYou don’t even know how very special you are
Chorus
You leave me breathlessYou’re everything good in my lifeYou leave me breathlessI still can’t believe that you’re mineYou just walked out of one of my dreamsSo beautiful you’re leaving meBreathless
And if our love was a story bookWe would meet on the very first pageThe last chapter would be aboutHow I’m thankful for the life we’ve made
And if we had babies they would have your eyesI would fall deeper watching you give lifeYou don’t even know how very special you are
You leave me breathless
You’re everything good in my lifeYou leave me breathlessI still can’t believe that you’re mineYou just walked out of one of my dreamsSo beautiful you’re leaving me
You must have been sent from heaven to earth to change meYou’re like an angelThe thing that I feel is stronger than love believe meYou’re something specialI only hope that I’ll one day deserve what you’ve given meBut all I can do is tryEvery day of my life
You leave me breathlessYou’re everything good in my lifeYou leave me breathlessI still can’t believe that you’re mineYou just walked out of one of my dreamsSo beautiful you’re leaving meBreathless
You leave me breathlessYou’re everything good in my lifeYou leave me breathlessI still can’t believe that you’re mineYou just walked out of one of my dreamsSo beautiful you’re leaving meBreathless