1st of feb.....

the first day of the shortest month a year.. shit.. time is running short. i am not dying but why am i still here. there is no place where i can tell my deepest secrets but here. where no one else knows me. compation and sympathy is jus something we get from people, i got it to. but is this really working. i am feeling as if i am standing on a clift. i tried to jump but i am stuck. i jus wished for a simple and happy life. doest it work that way or must we pursuite for it. i really need some help. nothing happy ever happen to me ever since i went back from new zealand. i feel like i am a complete idiot. wat must i do to get a life. i jus wan my freedom........ wat will happen after this.. wat will i do if i cant succeed in life?? time is something that money cant buy but why am i wasting it. excuse is jus something that i always use to lie to myself that one day i will make it in the end. i jus wanna see something that is logic something true without lies, or am i trying to cheat myself. the world is changing slowly yet i am still standing at the same place. i just wish for some one or some force to show me the way... BAKA NE it suck`s being here...